Something that swells

I live in Kansas, all of my family lives in Arizona. 1,200 miles away. Some may roll their eyes at my sadness, but I miss them, desperately. I'm in AZ at the moment and well... it always stresses me out to be away from my husband, to have my kids at other peoples houses, to be off schedule, to eat food we don't always eat, to only have 2 pairs of shoes to choose from, to use blankets and pillows that just don't feel "right". But the one thing that always makes it worth it, and I'm sorry in advance to my siblings, parents, and friends... But it's my nieces and nephews!! I have 13 nieces and nephews: Justin, Paige, Pokey(Preston), Bailey, Talon, Dally Girl(Dallas), Weston, Brody, Reisy, Aliya, Michaley, Brayden, & Chubby(Jaxon). My heart swells with pride, joy and love when I see their sweet faces in real life!! ( as opposed to my fake life in which I only hear their voices and see their faces on electronic devices and snap shots) There is just something about having people in your life that you can love, spoil, and tease that you don't have to discipline, and that you can send home or shoo away when they are naughty or annoying that just hits the right spot in my heart!!!
My advice to the world, find kids to love that aren't yours! I know I mean the world to my own children, I know their lives would be shattered if I wasn't in it. And there is something so rewarding about having that same affect on kids that aren't "mine" I'd happily kidnap all of them (not at the same time mind you, I need my sanity) but I just love them, my heart hurts to be away from them. I crave nothing more, when I'm away like I crave their hugs, their sincere "AUNTIE SARAH!" "Aunt Sarah!" "Auntie!" "Auntie Ra" "RaRa" calls when I walk through the door. It's a love I've had since I was 7, but I took it for granted.
I've learned a lot about myself while living away from my family. But what I've learned most, is that I matter.
I matter to A LOT of people.
I make a difference.
I fill lives with love.
I bring smiles more than I bring tears.
I've never regretted moving away, it's been the greatest adventure, the biggest lesson, and the most rewarding thing I could have done for my marriage. It has strengthened every relationship I have within my family and I pray each day that others can experience the joy that I have.
If your heart tells you to do something, do it. Change is scary, change is hard, change is filled with anxiety and fear, but sometimes, change is needed.
If I had been a coward, and ignored that still small voice encouraging me to do what my heart thought I should do I would have never become the woman that I am, the woman I am slowly becoming, the woman I've always wanted to be.
Be brave.
Love.
Matter.
Change!