I live in Kansas, all of my family lives in Arizona. 1,200 miles away. Some may roll their eyes at my sadness, but I miss them, desperately. I'm in AZ at the moment and well... it always stresses me out to be away from my husband, to have my kids at other peoples houses, to be off schedule, to eat food we don't always eat, to only have 2 pairs of shoes to choose from, to use blankets and pillows that just don't feel "right". But the one thing that always makes it worth it, and I'm sorry in advance to my siblings, parents, and friends... But it's my nieces and nephews!! I have 13 nieces and nephews: Justin, Paige, Pokey(Preston), Bailey, Talon, Dally Girl(Dallas), Weston, Brody, Reisy, Aliya, Michaley, Brayden, & Chubby(Jaxon). My heart swells with pride, joy and love when I see their sweet faces in real life!! ( as opposed to my fake life in which I only hear their voices and see their faces on electronic devices and snap shots) There is just something about having people in your life that you can love, spoil, and tease that you don't have to discipline, and that you can send home or shoo away when they are naughty or annoying that just hits the right spot in my heart!!!
My advice to the world, find kids to love that aren't yours! I know I mean the world to my own children, I know their lives would be shattered if I wasn't in it. And there is something so rewarding about having that same affect on kids that aren't "mine" I'd happily kidnap all of them (not at the same time mind you, I need my sanity) but I just love them, my heart hurts to be away from them. I crave nothing more, when I'm away like I crave their hugs, their sincere "AUNTIE SARAH!" "Aunt Sarah!" "Auntie!" "Auntie Ra" "RaRa" calls when I walk through the door. It's a love I've had since I was 7, but I took it for granted.
I've learned a lot about myself while living away from my family. But what I've learned most, is that I matter.
I matter to A LOT of people.
I make a difference.
I fill lives with love.
I bring smiles more than I bring tears.
I've never regretted moving away, it's been the greatest adventure, the biggest lesson, and the most rewarding thing I could have done for my marriage. It has strengthened every relationship I have within my family and I pray each day that others can experience the joy that I have.
If your heart tells you to do something, do it. Change is scary, change is hard, change is filled with anxiety and fear, but sometimes, change is needed.
If I had been a coward, and ignored that still small voice encouraging me to do what my heart thought I should do I would have never become the woman that I am, the woman I am slowly becoming, the woman I've always wanted to be.
Be brave.
Love.
Matter.
Change!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Family Ties
On a road trip to AZ, we made a stop in New Mexico to see some cousins. As we sat at lunch we were talking about how my mom's side of the family sort of, fell apart, after my grandparents had both passed away. Money and worldly possessions had become a source of contention and eventually disbanded our once extremely tight knit klan. We talked about how my mom's parents had been the "buffer" of our family and everyone just got along. I began to think about what life would be like when my parents passed away, would all us siblings and our children still stay close? Or would we let the desire to claim my parents (mostly sentimental, not profitable) possessions drive us apart? I decided if it came down to fighting over stuff, they can have it, I'll happily take pictures of the things I cherish, write notes on what I remember and scrapbook the whole house if I have to.
What a stupid thing to fight over, STUFF. Greed, selfishness, pride... Those are the only characteristics that would cause one to push a person out of their hearts and replace it with something that wasn't living. And quite frankly I don't want to posses any of those traits.
Why have we as a world become so obsessed with STUFF. I may live a modest life, because I have little money to waist on crap. And I feel confident as we earn more money we will acquire nicer cars, a nicer house, nicer clothes, nicer....crap. But why? Obviously a few things are just to live a sanitary, easy to manage, healthy lifestyle. But after that, it's just to make us feel good, is it not?
I would love to do an experiment where you could turn your personality into items. The kinder, happier, more honest, more Christ like traits would be turned into gold, fine linens, beautiful homes etc. and the greedy, dishonest, mean, evil traits would turn into moldy fabrics, worn out broken things, chipped paint and flat tires.
I bet our views of who we admired would change drastically if we could tell what type of a person someone was based on their possessions. Makes you wonder how quickly our world would change, when those worth admiration were the rich ones, and those in need of a slap in the face, and a severe change of heart were living in poverty. An odd thing to think about I'll admit, but when our lives in this realm end, and we stand before our maker that's what it will be like, our countenance will either glow with glory of our righteous endeavors, or we will look pail, dingy, filled with grief and the grim of the world we let devour our souls.
What a stupid thing to fight over, STUFF. Greed, selfishness, pride... Those are the only characteristics that would cause one to push a person out of their hearts and replace it with something that wasn't living. And quite frankly I don't want to posses any of those traits.
Why have we as a world become so obsessed with STUFF. I may live a modest life, because I have little money to waist on crap. And I feel confident as we earn more money we will acquire nicer cars, a nicer house, nicer clothes, nicer....crap. But why? Obviously a few things are just to live a sanitary, easy to manage, healthy lifestyle. But after that, it's just to make us feel good, is it not?
I would love to do an experiment where you could turn your personality into items. The kinder, happier, more honest, more Christ like traits would be turned into gold, fine linens, beautiful homes etc. and the greedy, dishonest, mean, evil traits would turn into moldy fabrics, worn out broken things, chipped paint and flat tires.
I bet our views of who we admired would change drastically if we could tell what type of a person someone was based on their possessions. Makes you wonder how quickly our world would change, when those worth admiration were the rich ones, and those in need of a slap in the face, and a severe change of heart were living in poverty. An odd thing to think about I'll admit, but when our lives in this realm end, and we stand before our maker that's what it will be like, our countenance will either glow with glory of our righteous endeavors, or we will look pail, dingy, filled with grief and the grim of the world we let devour our souls.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Old Fashion Love
Heading to the store for snacks, my Honey proceeded to walk to my car door and open it for me, I climbed in, with a grin on my face, acknowledging the sweet gesture that usually only occurs when the kids aren't around (simply becasue getting in the car WITH our boys is a life event all on it's own!). Our neighbor was standing outside and said to my Honey, "You still open her doors for her? That's so sweet!" He grinned and replied "Sometimes!"
Why did she sound surprised? Why was it such a novel idea that my Honey would STILL open my car door? Why has the old school love language, of simply being polite and kind because you love one another, gone to the way side? My Daddy has ALWAYS opened my mom's doors for her, and us girls, and any women or girl he is around. It's just nice. When I was dating I used to ALWAYS pay attention to wether or not a guy opened my car door for me. Time and time again I was disappointed, lots of times my hopes were rewarded though with an opened door, usually by a well mannered Mormon boy who knew it was polite.
It's such a simple gesture, opening a door, waiting for a loved one to join us at the dinner table before devouring our meals, a simple kiss and/or sincere goodbye, "I LOVE YOU" every time we leave one another. My Honey often rolls his eyes at me when I insist on such simple gestures, but in my mind, if my sons see their father opening their mothers door, they too, will return the favor to the girls they date and eventually the woman they marry.
And if they see their mother, being a woman who appreciates, acknowledges, and sometimes even insists on such simple gestures, then perhaps when they are searching for a girl they will spend their life, growing old with, they will seek a girl who respects herself enough to know she deserves to have her door opened. Deserves a man willing to treat her like she is more important than the world makes her feel.
So guys, be old school...open car doors. And girls, expect your door to be opened, and know that if you are settling for a man that doesn't open your car door, perhaps you are doing just that, settling.
Please don't divorce your husbands if he doesn't open your car door, and if it's not important to you then by all means laugh at me. But i feel confident that every relationship could use an "I appreciate when you ______." conversation. Even if it has nothing to do with opened doors, or warm meals.
We should sacrifice for one another, because we should love one another.
Why did she sound surprised? Why was it such a novel idea that my Honey would STILL open my car door? Why has the old school love language, of simply being polite and kind because you love one another, gone to the way side? My Daddy has ALWAYS opened my mom's doors for her, and us girls, and any women or girl he is around. It's just nice. When I was dating I used to ALWAYS pay attention to wether or not a guy opened my car door for me. Time and time again I was disappointed, lots of times my hopes were rewarded though with an opened door, usually by a well mannered Mormon boy who knew it was polite.
It's such a simple gesture, opening a door, waiting for a loved one to join us at the dinner table before devouring our meals, a simple kiss and/or sincere goodbye, "I LOVE YOU" every time we leave one another. My Honey often rolls his eyes at me when I insist on such simple gestures, but in my mind, if my sons see their father opening their mothers door, they too, will return the favor to the girls they date and eventually the woman they marry.
And if they see their mother, being a woman who appreciates, acknowledges, and sometimes even insists on such simple gestures, then perhaps when they are searching for a girl they will spend their life, growing old with, they will seek a girl who respects herself enough to know she deserves to have her door opened. Deserves a man willing to treat her like she is more important than the world makes her feel.
So guys, be old school...open car doors. And girls, expect your door to be opened, and know that if you are settling for a man that doesn't open your car door, perhaps you are doing just that, settling.
Please don't divorce your husbands if he doesn't open your car door, and if it's not important to you then by all means laugh at me. But i feel confident that every relationship could use an "I appreciate when you ______." conversation. Even if it has nothing to do with opened doors, or warm meals.
We should sacrifice for one another, because we should love one another.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Just enjoying eachother
My parents came to Kansas to stay with us for a few days before me and my babies head back to Arizona with them for about a week and a half. We always feel like we need to entertain them while they are here, show them all the great things to see, fun places to eat, and so on. But not on Sundays. Being LDS it's just expected that we'll go to church and spend the rest of the day lounging around doing nothing, simply enjoying being in each other's company without needing to be "entertained". It's the one day I usually let my house go to crap and become a complete mess just so I can sit and relax, play with my kids, and snuggle with my honey. Sunday's truly should be a "day of rest" after all! So today, during our quiet sittings we started talking about changing the way we eat, and live to create a healthier lifestyle. I read a post written by my dad on a website of his and for the umpteenth time in the past couple weeks was inspired to share my voice with the world. This post may not be life changing but I had to start somewhere, right? I hope to use this blog to voice all of my random, personal revelations and inspirations in hopes of lifting up others and making my life more fulling, by helping others.
I've always thought of serving others, as cleaning their toilets or raking their leaves, but with the technology that we have, literally at our fingertips all day long, I began to think, "Why can't I serve someone emotionally? Can't I teach and inspire with my words?" And the answer came as a resounding "YES...YOU CAN". I want to make a difference in the world. I know I matter to those I see and speak to on a regular basis, and I know I make a difference in THEIR lives, but my heart tells me that I can do more.
This is my MORE attempt. I hope you enjoy it :)
HAPPY SUNDAY!!!!
I've always thought of serving others, as cleaning their toilets or raking their leaves, but with the technology that we have, literally at our fingertips all day long, I began to think, "Why can't I serve someone emotionally? Can't I teach and inspire with my words?" And the answer came as a resounding "YES...YOU CAN". I want to make a difference in the world. I know I matter to those I see and speak to on a regular basis, and I know I make a difference in THEIR lives, but my heart tells me that I can do more.
This is my MORE attempt. I hope you enjoy it :)
HAPPY SUNDAY!!!!
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